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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that, I’m feeling pumped. I head over to the beach, right? The sand is warm, the water’s sparkling. I’m ready to soak it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists starts blasting music. Like, come on! I’m trying to vibe here, not attend a beach rave. I’m all for fun, but can we keep it down a notch?

OMIS students celebrated as newly published authors